What Kinda Mess Is This: Duct Tape Used to Stop Leaky Oil Pipe

Republican Representative Vance McAllister is lookin’ crazy as hell… AGAIN… after news broke that some dumbass higher-up thought it was the best solution to allow the use of a garbage bag and duct tape to fix a leaky oil pipe in a wildlife refuge.

McAllister’s name may sound familiar.  He’s the one caught on a security camera sucking face with some chick that wasn’t his wife.   I guess its a good thing for him that it wasn’t a male staffer?

McAllister actually used a hearing before the National Resources Subcommittee on Fisheries, Wildlife, Oceans and Insular Affairs (THAT NAME IS TOO DAMN LONG), to talk down to Noah Matson (Defenders of Wildlife) for spilling…uh, I mean… for revealing the fact that oil company abuses are a serious problem in wildlife refuges.

One particular photo used to illustrate that fact showed the revolutionary technological advance of…a plastic bag and duct tape which was used for up to a year to stop a leaky oil pipe.

But at the hearing though, Dunce McAllister used his opportunity to act a damn fool with the witness.  He said that ghetto-a$$ tape/bag rigging was be done by an “innovative” person.  Oh, yes he did!  Here’s the quote:

“You took a picture of someone who was innovative, and rather than leaving the fluid to drip on the ground, repaired it with duct tape and a garbage bag, and yet you seem to be very upset about that.”

Man, what the hell you mean by that? Yes!  Yes, Mr McAllister! We’re all upset about it and if you ain’t upset, then you need to hand in your resignation right now and go sit yo ass down somewhere.  Go shack up with that chick you were cheating on your wife with.

He continued:

“We take a garbage bag and fix it and keep it from leaking and yet you’re still not happy, and come to Washington and testify before Congress and want to throw fits because some guy took initiative…

…It just aggravates me that the body of Congress would be wasted with someone coming up and taking pictures of something that shows that it is fixed.”

“We take a garbage bag….”?  Uh, whadduya mean ‘we’, Kemosabe?  Is he using the royal “we”?  If so, “we” are not amused!  Or does he see himself as in league with the oil company who allowed this mess to happen?

Duct tape and garbage bags work for …. (1)the Sopranos…. (2) moving to a new apartment……and (3) to stop nuclear fallout from entering your house (yeah right), but certainly not to fix a leaking OIL pipe from contaminating the soil!

I guess he wants to call these geniuses to Washington and order Obama to give them a Presidential medal for coming up with that Bill Gates/Steve Jobs level of innovation.



You know what else is innovative? Slippers made of duct tape.

Photo Cred: Boomsbeat.com

As “innovative” as that is, it’s still some ridiculous $hit!   

Would McAllister walk his happy a$$ around the house wearing duct tape house shoes?  I doubt it.  So why should the American people be satisfied with the… uh…. “solution” that this “innovative person” came up with?

McAllister seems to be shilling for the very people who claim to have an enormous amount of technological know-how when it comes to sucking up oil out of the ground and storing it in a manner which won’t kill us all.

For up to a year — instead of fixing the goddamn pipe — whoever was in charge of that travesty was content with the duct tape/plastic bag solution.  In case you didn’t know, oil companies are making a katrillion, jillion, kabillion dollars in profit, so ensuring that their pipe is up to snuff should be like spending 2 cents… if that much.

But hey, at least Vance McAllister thinks that “some guy took initiative” to “fix” the problem.  So…why yall mad?  *Rolling My Eyes So Much Right Now*

Whateva, Dunce.

– @whisperdispatch

// Where you get that from? //

# http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2014/05/congressmen-vance-mcallister-john-fleming-oil-spill-duct-tape
# http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/04/28/1295300/–Kissing-Congressman-Vance-McAllister-says-he-won-t-seek-re-election-but-will-finish-out-his-term


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